After more than 9 years of our relationship he left me and broke my heart and my hopes into pieces…
… Pretending to be joyful at work, pretending to be busy in my life in order not to talk and see anyone, and watching Mad Men had become my life. I was on autopilot, survival mode: no thinking, no feeling, I had found a strategy not to feel the pain anymore.
It often is easier to focus on other people’s well-being rather than ours. It is just as easy to criticise and blame others rather than check ourselves and hold ourselves accountable.
Hence, we tend to neglect the relationship we have with ourselves when it truly lies at the bottom of it all.
Il est souvent plus facile de s’occuper du bien être des autres et de se faire passer en dernier. Il est tout aussi facile de critiquer et de blâmer les autres plutôt que de reconnaitre ses responsabilités et se remettre en question.
Et pourtant, bien que privilégier la relation que l’on a avec nous-même soit à la source de tout, cette relation est souvent négligée.
One of my friends bought a house. A lot of my friends got pregnant. My sisters are skinnier than me. And so on…
Despite being genuinely happy for these people in my life, I can’t help but compare myself to them and feel some jealousy. Because let’s face it, their successes reflect back to me, like a mirror, all the things I want in life but that I have not yet accomplished.
How many people actually answer that common question saying “fine”, without even thinking about it? The truth is, society expects us to answer precisely that way.
Combien de personnes répondent automatiquement « ça va bien » à cette question courante sans même y réfléchir ? La réalité est que la société attend de nous que nous répondions de cette manière.
So when I got engaged for the second time, I certainly did not want this to go wrong again! Naturally, I asked my new fiancé THE question: “Will you love me FOREVER?” I didn’t want to get divorced again. Nope, not again!
Therefore I certainly did not expect his answer: “I don’t know.”